Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He felt like a one man threesome
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
