i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
