honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
