Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
