thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
