me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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