so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
home. puking in laundry basket.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
