Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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