I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
