there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
