you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
