I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
