what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize