He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
organizing the empties. That sober.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
