Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
