Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
