arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
