if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
