Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
