I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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