dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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