Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
