the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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