no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
