you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
