I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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