Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
