Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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