Kiss
Puke
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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