I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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