Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You made out with two different species that night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
