I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
