I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize