what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
