I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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