I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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