Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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