We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
