The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
