Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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