so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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