I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
