OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
