So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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