Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
