She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
