Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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