a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
