And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
