I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
