she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
