You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
