I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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