If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
