I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
