Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
