Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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