Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
