He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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