lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
