Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize