You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
